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by maddy_does (favefangirl)



Series: Aaron Dingle Week 2020 [5]
Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, anyway, c2009, erm, he was a good dog, i miss him, in the closet, maybe i should character tag clyde
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:13:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27013300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/favefangirl/pseuds/maddy_does
Summary: Aaron's relationship with Holly is the perfect disguise for his real feelings. When Robert Sugden returns to the village out of the blue, Aaron no longer knows what to do with himself.
Relationships: Aaron Dingle/Robert Sugden
Series: Aaron Dingle Week 2020 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1940446
Comments: 8
Kudos: 31





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**Author's Note:**

> [Aaron Dingle Week 2020](https://aarondingleweek2020.tumblr.com/) Day 5 (16th Oct): “Everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy.” and/or “You tricked me.”
> 
> Big up @lizzzzoo @howellobrien and @like-the-first-time-i-kissed-you on tumblr for running this :)

Being with Holly is easy. Aaron knows he can just go through the motions and she’ll be satisfied. He hasn’t thought as far ahead as sex yet, nor really anything beyond walking through the village together and looking like a normal couple. But Holly’s nice, unassuming, being with her is easy because it’s mainly just like being her friend, with the added bonus of something to hide behind when people get too close.

Adam is a problem. His running around the village crying gay seems to have come to an end, enough that people have stopped asking questions and looking at him funny. Still, he’s clearly not happy with Aaron’s relationship with Holly, and even though everyone else seems to have, he’s not forgotten about Aaron’s moment of complete stupidity when he’d tried to kiss him in the car.

He doesn’t even like Adam, not really, not in that way. But they’re close,  _ were  _ close, and Aaron’s never really had a friend before. He blames it on adrenaline himself, when he lets himself think about it, that is, which isn’t often. Usually when he does he goes to find Holly and kisses her until all thoughts of her brother leave his head. It’s not a great system, but Aaron doesn’t know what other choice he has.

He hasn’t thought about the long term but for now he knows this is enough, the holding hands and the kissing and the buying a bunch of flowers every now and then because better people think he’s soft than that he’s abnormal. Besides, it’s not like there’s an abundance of blokes around that he could be interested in. Adam, maybe, eventually, if he ever let himself dwell on it. But he doesn’t, and he won’t, so he’ll be fine. So long as he just doesn’t think about it, he’ll be fine. It’s a flawed system but it’ll work for as long as he needs it to.

That, of course, is when Robert Sugden shows up.

He’s been so good at keeping those parts of himself hidden, buried beneath this sham he’s got going with Holly, being angry and moody and unapproachable. He makes jokes about girls with Ryan and Cain and he doesn’t think anyone suspects a thing. He’s doing so  _ good _ and he knows he can keep going for just a little more, he  _ knows _ .

But Robert Sugden seems to be everywhere he goes; the farm, having a go about his dad and selling it, the garage, trying to swindle a job out of Debbie, at the pub, flirting with Katie across the bar even though she clearly has no interest whatsoever in him. Aaron feels like he can’t get rid of him, everywhere he turns, there Robert is! It’s a nightmare and he feels like he’s losing his mind.

It’s not like Robert’s even that good looking. He has a stupid boyband haircut, and his cheekbones stick out too much. Alright, he’s got nice eyes, and a decent smile (though Aaron can tell it’s fake about 90% of the time, which is just off putting in and of itself to be honest). But he’s not  _ that  _ fit, not really. Aaron’s seen better. Not that he was looking, but if he had been, he would’ve. And frankly Aaron doesn't think even Robert knows what he’s really like, deep down below the layers upon layers of fake personality that he’s crafted for himself. 

He’s just annoying, and every time he sees his mum she’s just going on about how much he hurt Katie and Debbie, and the best thing he ever did for the village was to leave it. Paddy, whether to impress his mum or because he’s just a massive dolt, also won’t shut up about how shifty he is, and how he wouldn’t leave him alone in the surgery for any money. Yes, Paddy, because Robert Sugden is a renowned kitten thief.

Aaron really, truly, feels like he’s going insane. He finds himself taking Clyde for more and more walks just to get out of the village. It’s started feeling suffocating there, having a reminder of him around every goddamn corner. Clyde likes the exercise, and he hopes that in getting away will give him a chance to just  _ breathe _ .

Except it doesn’t really help, because at least he’s out of the village and out of the firing line of another rant about how much of a terrible person Robert flaming Sugden is, the bastard’s managed to worm his way into Aaron’s head. He’s all he thinks about. On walks, at work, with Holly. At night. It’s infuriating.  _ He’s  _ infuriating. And if something doesn’t give soon, Aaron doesn’t know what he’ll do.

It’s on a particularly stressful walk when Sugden’s on his mind (he’d been fighting with his brother, a big brawl at Jack Sugden’s grave, Chas hadn’t shut up about it) when everything really starts to go to shit. He’s just turned down Raspberry Lane between Butlers and a farm about a mile away when he hears a twig snap behind him. He spins around, not wanting to deal with anyone but also more than prepared to have a go if he has to. 

He stops dead when he sees who it is.

Clyde comes trotting back down the path to him and sniffs at his hands, but Aaron is preoccupied by none other than Robert Sugden standing right in front of him. He stares at him, unsure of how else to react. His breath catches as a slow, deliberate smile creeps across Robert’s face. He tilts his head to look at Clyde by Aaron’s side, who’s standing ready to pounce. 

“Whose bark is worse?” Robert asks in that casual, calculated tone he uses when he’s being sly. 

“Mine,” Aaron replies, straightening his spine.

Robert chuckles and walks forwards. “Thought as much.” he says casually. He then adds, “ **Everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy** .” as he sidesteps Aaron.

“Funny, people say the same about you.” Aaron counters, turning to face Robert who’s already walking away.

“Huh,” Robert calls over his shoulder, conversationally. “Maybe they’re right.”

The encounter is over just like that. Aaron turns and walks back to the village, Clyde at his heels. It’s incredibly brief, but it’s all Aaron can think about for days afterwards. The smirk Robert had worn, the way the sun had caught in the blonde of his hair, the queasy feeling in his stomach as Robert had walked past him, coming so close that Aaron could smell his cologne. It drives him crazy. It was bad enough having Robert Sugden on his mind all day in theory, but from an actual interaction it’s so, so much worse. 

He tries to bury it by focusing on work, Holly, going out with his mates, but it’s no use. No matter where he goes there’s always only ever one thing - one person - on his mind. And he thinks Holly might be starting to notice, too. She’s sceptical about when they’re together, snappy and impatient. She’s complicated in all the ways that she never had been before - the same ways that made being with her feel easy.

Aaron begins to worry that maybe the thing that's going to give is going to be him.

The problem is he feels like, and this is surely a sign of madness, but he feels like maybe Robert had been flirting with him. But that couldn’t be right - Robert has slept with half the women in the village, there's no way he's gay. And even if he was, there was no way he's interested in Aaron. He can’t think of two less compatible people. Not that that would matter anyway because even if Robert was gay and did like him, Aaron doesn’t like him back.

Besides, all of that was irrelevant in face of the fact that Aaron is never going to be… like that. Maybe his plan with Holly is flawed, so maybe he’ll need a new fake girlfriend soon, but that doesn’t matter. Even if things end with Holly, Aaron 's not about to don a dress and flaunt a boyfriend around the village. Absolutely no way.

It has him thinking though, which is torture, about what Robert had been doing there. It isn’t a common walking route, in fact that had been the reason Aaron had chosen it. And why start a conversation if he didn’t need to? He could’ve just gone on his merry way having not interacted with Aaron at all.

He knows he's overthinking it. Robert Sugden was the kind of man that does things for the fun of it just because he wans to. There's no rhyme or reason to any of it, and trying to apply some is futile. This is what he starts telling himself - that he’s just being silly, that he’s dwelling on it too much. He tells himself to get over it, to focus on what’s actually important (and actually real).

Amazingly, this works. It works to the point that he almost manages to stop thinking about Robert altogether. Things start going back to how they were before with work and Holly and his mates. On a really good day, he can even ignore the whole guys thing altogether, though those are few and far between. 

Then he’s working late one night at the garage. He’d argued the toss about it with Cain to no avail (and to no one's surprise). There's a problem with a carburettor on a VW that needs sorting pronto for a bloke that's willing to pay over the odds to have it done, and Aaron;s the sucker whose been forced to stay behind and do it. Carburettors aren't exactly difficult jobs, but he's still focused enough on it that he didn’t notice someone had entered the garage. When he looks up, he isn’t even surprised to see who it was.

“Figured this would be where a dirty little grease monkey would spend his evenings,” Robert says casually, looking around the garage with a smirk on his face. 

“We’re closed,” Aaron replies, almost automatically.

“Do you see me with a car?”

Aaron isn’t impressed. “What do you want?”

Robert shrugs casually and walks into the garage. “Who says I want anything?”

“Then why else are you here?” Aaron asked, standing up from where he’d been leaning over the engine.

Robert shrugs again as he circles round to where Aaron is standing on the other side of the car. “Maybe it’s the grease monkey I’m here to see.”

He’s so close that Aaron can smell his cologne again. It’s bitter, heady, Aaron’s a little bit intoxicated by it. He swears that’s why he starts leaning in. The only reason. When Robert’s smirk grows into a grin, though, he halts. Pauses half way to pressing their lips together, suddenly realising what he’s done.

He’s an idiot. He can’t believe he’s exposed himself like this, and to Robert Sugden of all people. He knows he’s done for. It’ll be all over the village before the week is out. He’ll never be able to show his face around here ever again. He doesn’t know where he’ll go. His mechanic’s qualification hasn’t come through yet so he doesn’t know what he’ll do for work, or where he’ll live, but he’ll have to leave. He won’t be able to stay once Robert does his worst. 

The fear must show on his face because Robert just chuckles at him. “You think too much,” Robert teases, and then he closes the gap between them.

And that’s when Aaron truly knows he’s fucked.

**Author's Note:**

> this is awful, but i'm hungover and in the middle of a sexuality crisis so it's what we've got!
> 
> thank you for getting through this lol, i know it was a toughy. 
> 
> part of me wants to expand this because it doesn't feel finished but part of me knows i have a habit of promising continuations of things that i inevitably don't deliver on soooooo (:
> 
> anyway, if you wanna leave a comment or a kudos they're much appreciated! especially let me know if there's something you think i forgot to tag! or if you spot a spelling//grammar mistake because my editing here was so half assed i stg.
> 
> i'm taking prompts! if you're interested please drop the prompt in the comments below. if you do send a prompt be prepared for me to take fifty years to fill it because school is so hard (or, i guess, uni now, lol), but i promise i'll try! come say hi on tumblr: [@maddy-does](https://maddy-does.tumblr.com/)
> 
> thanks for reading, have a wonderful existence.


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